The show must go on
You don’t know this.
I’m currently recovering from some of the most crazy weeks in my life I ever had to go through. Mentally and physically it was a straining, terrifying, painful and extremely emotional. I can’t talk about it yet, but I will when the time is right.
To keep my head up high and trying to stay optimistic has never been this hard for me. And allowing myself to show emotions, confide in a few chosen friends, and work it out is what I thought all I can do for now.
In the abyss of my misery, doubting myself, questioning life, feeling alone in the middle of wonderful people who care about me, all I could do is to hold my breath until the worst feelings subside.
Then turn despair into power.
It takes a lot of energy, and strength to not allow yourself to spiral down into self pity, and the blind faith that despite your misery this is just a temporary feeling. And it will get better.
On a day like this I needed to go away. Helps every time. Physically moving, as fast and far as you can. Feel the wind in your hair as the landscapes are passing by you. The sensation of gaining physical distance to everything that weighted down in your soul. To take back the control of your life.
Not that I wanted to go – all I wanted was to curl up in a ball and ponder about the meaning of life and what the heck we are all doing this for. But I did. And it was the BEST thing I could have done!!!
The wind blew me to West Vancouver. Kinda as far as my scooter will carry me. 22 degrees (celsius) & so sunny! I found this beautiful piece of hidden landscape, a little bay by the waters, and crawled over sticks and stones to arrive in one of the most secluded and peaceful places I have ever seen.
I climbed gigantic tree roots washed upon shore ages ago, found little treasures, dangled off a majestic net of strongly entwined branches growing wild, and felt more in tune with nature than I had for a long time. My inner child came out to play and we had so much fun
And so it happens that in the last two hours of downtime I came up with one of the most amazing ideas I ever had!! My new project, my lifelong purpose, my heart and soul manifesting in a new idea.
I may not be there yet, but I know where I’m going. And heck will I go!!
The show must go on people! May at least make the best of it!!