It’s hard to find yourself if you don’t feel lost
Hi there. My name is Cloe. I’m not on vacation, I’m on a road trip. I am travelling the West Coast in my RV converted into a beautiful little studio, working in my ‘home office’ from the loneliness of the Oregon forests and the Californian deserts.
I’m happy to meet new friends, but please don’t be upset if I can’t plan when I will be where. Life proved to be heartbreakingly unreliable for me until this point, and I’m trying to deal with it the best I can. Today is the day I’m brave enough to start looking forward again and make plans.
If we had the privilege to meet, be sure I loved every minute of it (there’s few, but you know who you are)! You made a very hard time bearable. You probably didn’t notice, but I just went through one of the toughest times in my life. Thank you for being with me.
To be honest: I feel lost, I feel happy, I was devastated, hopeful, and very grateful. Sometimes I don’t know how to move on, often I want to be alone and think.
I’m 35 years old right now, and this trip is about finally finding myself. Please allow me to do so. When I am happy I can make other people happy. Not vice versa. I need to spend some time alone in an attempt to do so, and of course my work. After this trip I will have to have found me, and I’m not sure if the time allows for that. So I’m pretty scared. But well, I take on that challenge.
When I’m waking up looking at the Pacific ocean, drinking my home brewed coffee in the warm winter sun, toes in the sand, grabbing my skateboard to go into a coffee shop to work, and writing my novel in the mellow candle light at night, I know it will be all worth it. Eventually.